From broken ankles to the last minute dramas, here are 10 things you might have missed this week from the unpredictable world of football. The real stuff. Not three points, two halves and all the tactical snoozefest stuff.
No Kane, No Pain – The England skipper has no idea how easy it is to get tickets for the Etihad does he? Sounds less like TEESSCCOO'S this time.
Show-Boateng – Sit and admire Hiram Boateng's majestic control, touch and finish. If Messi did that... he probably already has to be fair.
Blind Faith – Either this guide dog had Jack Harrison to score first or, y'know, a squirrel ran past or something.
Hardcore Support – Sticking with Leeds, and supporter Matt Richardson celebrated almost as much as the dog. So much so in fact that he managed to break his ankle in the process. He refused to leave, however, sticking it out till the end before he received treatment. Soldier.
Brotherly Love – In demand Benfica forward, Joao Felix celebrated his latest goal with the ball boy. Thankfully it was his brother. Could have been weird otherwise...
FIFA Sounds – You know you'd go to this club. Well, you would if you weren't spending all your weekends playing Playstation.
Pot Shot – You're most vulnerable when you've just scored. Even more vulnerable when your goalkeeper has concrete in his boots.
Keeper Uppys – Sutton United goalkeeper Ross Worner has Leyton Orient in an accumulator to win the league. Pass it on.
Hug It Out – Bafetembi Gomis showing how to diffuse a potentially volatile situation. Just don't try this down your local on a Saturday night.
Kiss and Break Up – Back to Leeds, and seems Ezgjan Alioski isn't into "affectionate" celebrations. What's wrong with a good old fashioned handshake, eh Gianni?
Nuno's Not Hungry – Following Wolves' poor showing in their recent defeat to Southampton, manager Nuno Espírito Santo lost his appetite.
Given Your Priorities – Former keeper Shay Given on the other hand, couldn't be kept away from his food. Even Mo Salah's belter against Chelsea had no effect what-so-ever. Barely lifted his eyes from his plate.
The Road To Recovery – Former Liverpool and Newcastle defender, Jose Enrique, announced this week that he's been given the all clear following the removal of a brain tumour. Superb news.
Doing Time – Nah, prison is the easy way out. He should have to do unpaid counselling work for suicidal Arsenal fans.
And that's your lot. Happy Easter. Do more weird stuff so we can do this all over again next week yeah?
