You slam the ball home, and for a brief moment you have the world’s attention – what do you do? You could perform a well-rehearsed routine, a signature move, or you could make a statement. Here’s the best of the latter, 10 of the coldest executed celebrations in the game.
We’re not talking about the best celebrations of all time, nor the most iconic signature celebrations – you’ll not find Ronaldo’s ‘Siu’ or even Crouch’s robot here. We’re not even talking in the literal sense of Cole Palmer and Morgan Rogers’ quiet request to turn the heating on. No, these are the celebrations that silenced the crowd; that were a headline in themselves. Artists standing to put one to the haters in the most emphatic fashion.
10. Samuel Eto’o – Old Man Mode
After José Mourinho publicly joked about his age – “maybe 35, who knows?” – the Cameroonian responded the only way he knew how: by scoring. Then, in front of the cameras, he hobbled to the corner flag, stooped like an old man, and mimed back pain. The ultimate clapback celebration. Vintage Eto’o: goals, gags, greatness.
9. Wayne Rooney – KO
Days after tabloids splashed photos of Rooney “knocked out” in a play-fight with Phil Bardsley, he hit a screamer against Spurs. The celebration? Shadowboxing followed by a theatrical flop to the turf. Self-parody perfection. Wazza turned a scandal into a skit – and United into 3–0 winners.
8. Robbie Fowler – The Thin White Line
Upset at both him and his sister constantly being targeted by unfounded rumours of drug use, Robbie Fowler’s patience finally snapped in 1999. After slotting a penalty against Everton, he dropped to his knees, pressed a finger to one nostril, and pretended to snort the white line. Outrage ensued, bans followed, but message delivered. Fowler didn’t just score goals – he scored points.
7. Chloe Kelly – Overhead Shirt Swing
Men whipping their tops off in celebration of a goal is something you’ll see numerous times every week. But for obvious reasons, it’s not a sight you’re likely to get all that often in the women’s game. Kelly's bold celebration after scoring the winning goal in the Women's Euro 2022 final, where she took off her shirt and swung it over her head, was a powerful flex and an iconic moment.
6. Dimitar Berbatov – Keep Calm and Be Berba
Back in 2012, after he scored against the Saints in December, Dimitar Berbatov shit-talked not just his opponents but his entire team, basically implying he was the only one who could save Fulham. Something about the rough, hand written nature of this one that just elevates it at a time when those crap “Keep calm and…” shirts were weirdly having a moment. To his credit, Berbatov scored 15 goals in the EPL that season, three times what any other teammate tallied that year.
5. Mario Ballotelli – Why Always Me?
In 2011’s Manchester derby, Balotelli opened the scoring, lifted his shirt, and revealed that immortal message: “Why always me?” City went on to batter United 6–1, and Mario instantly became meme royalty. Equal parts genius and chaos, he didn’t just light up the pitch – he set fire to the headlines.
4. Paul Gascoigne – The Dentist Chair
Before Euro ’96, England’s squad had been rinsed in the press after being photographed in Hong Kong mid-“dentist’s chair” – teammates pouring drinks down each other’s throats. Fast-forward to Wembley. Gascoigne slaloms through Scotland’s defence, lashes one past Andy Goram, and collapses on the turf. Up step Shearer, McManaman, and Redknapp with a water bottle for a live re-enactment. The ultimate middle finger to the critics. Iconic. Pure Gazza.
3. Thierry Henry – “Is That Enough?”
You can stop the man taking a quick free kick, but you can’t stop the man from scoring. That was the message that Thierry Henry emphatically delivered after scoring a world class free kick against Wigan when he turned and said “is that enough?” in reference to the amount of time he waited on the ref's rather pedantic instructions. And let’s be fair, Henry has got his fair share of cold celebrations. Bang goes the 0-0 draw anyone? But that simple question of the ref’s perceived obstruction? Brrr.
2. Lionel Messi – The Barcelona Shirt Lift
In 2017, Messi hit his 500th Barça goal – an added-time winner at the Bernabéu, of all places. The Argentine peeled off his shirt, held it up to the Madrid crowd, and stared them down. The image went global instantly. It was a mic drop in polyester. Iconic and worth the yellow every time.
1. Eric Cantona – Stop and Stare
The absolute OG boss of deserved football arrogance, and this celebration epitomised that position. Against Sunderland in ’96, he waltzed past defenders, clipped a majestic chip over the keeper, and then… nothing. Just a slow, statuesque spin, collar popped, arms out, soaking in Old Trafford’s roar like a king admiring his empire. No celebration has ever said I am inevitable quite like it. Cantona was quite simply aura personified.
Did we miss any? Surely not.
