Football should be a simple game. Ninety minutes of play, whoever scores the most goals wins, then we all go home. Luckily, it's far more eventful than that, so here's a bunch of random stuff that's been doing the rounds this week.
Copa Car Share | Everything is just that little bit madder down in South America. Oriente Petrolero striker Maxi Freitas threw down some more Copa Libertadores chaos this week by scoring with his first touch and celebrating by climbing into a pitch side car with his pals. And they say that the FA Cup is the greatest cup competition in the world?
Piano Pete | The cheeky scamps up at Motherwell were quick to make their own version of the Alexis Sanchez piano unveiling by announcing the permeant signing of Peter Hartley. Bravo chaps.
The Good Ol' Days | Nothing is more 90s Football than a big old goalmouth scramble followed by a decent scrap in oversized shiny kits. If you're not following @Crap90sFootball then you're doing Twitter wrong. They dug out this piece of footballing art this week, produced by Macclesfield and Lincoln.
Total Football | We haven't seen football like this since the Year 10 vs Year 11 twenty-a-side grudge match on the top playground, the day before the summer holidays. Desperate, chaotic and void of any ability whatsoever. All in front of a bemused Robin Van Persie watching from the Feyenoord bench. Utrecht & Feyenoord proving that one touch football isn't always sexy. It's sometimes down right disgustingly entertaining.
Unbelievable Refferz | Just Scottish Premiership Referee John Beaton opening up play with a nonchalant no-look back-heel flick to pick out Scott Brown.
Fallon d'Floor | We haven't brought you a Lithuanian futsal player scoring an accidental-last-minute-headed-equaliser for a while have we? Consider that changed. 6-5 down, seconds to play. Hero.
Park The Bus Somewhere Else | Did Alexis Sanchez think he'd be spending the day of his Manchester United debut doing star jumps in a rural Somerset hotel car park?
Double Trouble | Jamie Vardy and Marvin Zeegelaar went full FIFA glitch mode, and you can't stop watching it.
Dolce and Gabanta | Bristol City's free-scoring centre-half Aden Flint had the opportunity to ask Pep Guardiola two questions after the League Cup Semi at Ashton Gate. Did he ask for the secret to genius tiki-taka football? Not quite. Flint asked why Pep took the Stone Island branding off his jacket... and if he could have it.
Orange Peel | Brisbane Roar suffered extra humiliation in their 3-2 defeat with Filipino side Ceres-Negros in their Asian Champions League tie. Their shirt numbers began to peel off leaving Roar's number 22 wearing the number 77 shirt, with tape added to make it look like a number 22.
#Baewatch | Pamela Anderson has moved in with Marseille defender Adil Rami. That's yellow bar breaking news s**t right there. Now you know.
That's you pretty much up to speed. Have a good weekend and cross your fingers for more madness.
