Mullets, Mike Dean and a lesson in grammar are on the cards as we countdown to the weekend in the only way we know how. Here are 10 things you might have missed from the wonderful world of football this week...
The Showboat of the Dockyard Derby – Portsmouth defender Nathan Thompson getting done like an absolute kipper by Plymouth's Graham Carey. The speed, the finesse, the intricacy. You can't just watch this once. Rumour has it that Thompson is till wondering around the streets of Plymouth looking for the ball.
Hype Wave – PSG fans in the Old Trafford away end were obviously enjoying themselves against United the other night. Can't kick you out if he's crowd surfing can he? Double standards and that.
Old School Style – This week has seen the majority of MLS teams launching their kits for the new season. But back in the 90s it used to be a much more grandiose affair, with uncomfortable footballers modelling the kits on stage in a time when mullets flowed, free of ridicule...
The Sakho Shake – Mamadou Sakho turned 29 on 13 February, and as part of his celebrations he shared each individual special hand shake he has with his team mates, because he's a footballer and that's what they do with all their free time.
KO – Just Sami Khedira facing the almighty consequence of not thanking Cristiano Ronaldo for his 3-pack of CR7 hand-signed signature pants at Christmas.
Little Prankers – Responsible for the majority of the male members of the crowd at Mill Farm simultaneously raising their hands, these little scamps got given free shirts for their efforts. Not sure what the moral of the story is here...
Strike A Pose – When you're Mike Dean, you don't do things by half measures. It's all in or nothing, as exemplified by his awarding of a penalty in the Chelsea v City game. No doubt he's awarded it, is there? Honestly, this whole feature could be filled with Mike Dean being Mike Dean... Every week. The man is pure showbiz.
Burger that – Arsenal suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of BATE Borisov this week. The Belarusian team, currently in their off-season, haven't played a competitive match since before Christmas. They're still in their off season, so once they'd got the job done it was Double Whopper and fries all round.
Rocket Men – In an attempt to disrupt the visiting Real Madrid team ahead of their Champions League match, Ajax fans set off fireworks outside their hotel at 3am. Did it work? Real won 2-1. No chance of a couple of Catherine Wheels and rockets putting the holders off.
Isolated Icardi – Stripped of the Inter Milan captaincy and seemingly set to be frozen out of the team, Mauro Icardi broke his silence with a cryptic Instagram post. Bet he wishes he'd taken his own advice now though...
That's all folks. Have a grand weekend...
