The wait is over. No more pretending to like cricket, it's back to the real stuff, like what’s expected of the most expensive defender in the world, the difference between Nice and Newcastle, and the best brand in the world to be sponsored by. It’s Friday, the Prem is back tonight, and to celebrate here’s 10 things you may have missed from the world of football.
Santi Appreciation – Absolute magician. You could be trapped in a phonebox with this man and you still wouldn't see touch the ball.
Cracked It – Why have we just watched this 23 times?
Playa – Chill out Sergio, she's only seven.
Push Off – Mbappe literally showing Neymar where the exit is.
Nothing To See Here – Quite literally. Obviously no corruption in the Bolivian football league. Ref alerted to the fact there's something he may have missed. $10,000 in his bank account if he gives a penalty sounds about right...
Banger (& Mash) Of A Shirt – Yep, this is a real shirt. And yep, apparently the socks provide the much needed gravy to the meal. Still better than some of the kits we've seen for the 2019/20 season...
Brand Appreciation – An attacking midfielder who loves to bang them in... and bang them out apparently.
Bargain Basement – Peak Mike Ashely. "Signing on fee? How about a pack of Hi-Tek socks and a Lonsdale vest, pal?"
Big Expectations – If he's underperforming he's always got that photo of him riding an inflatable unicorn to post. That'll buy him another couple of months. People love that photo.
Dog-aldinho – When Romelu Lukaku displays that sort of control it's laughed at. When a pug does it it's cute.
Out Of Toon – 65 jagerbombs a week for 12 years have not been kind to big Andy Caroll. Rob Beckett making the switch from stand-up to football management was a move no one saw coming either.
10? Close enough...
