With the Spanish Supercopa inexplicably being hosted in Saudi Arabia we could well have included it in amongst 10 things you might have missed from the world of football this week, but as it is we’ve just gone for Toni Kroos’ moment of magic from Real’s game against Valencia. That joins a new player rating system and Iran’s weapon of mass destruction. Yep, football’s well weird sometimes…
You Can Take The Man Out Of Yorkshire – Neil Warnock is just the gift that keeps on giving. We could all learn a thing or two from his worldly wisdom.
More Ben For Your Buck – Questions have to be asked about this... We're just really not sure what questions.
Kroos Control – Amazing tekkers from the German, but what's the keeper about?
United In Failure – We're not convinced that this portrayal is entirely fair. No, for total accuracy the bucket should have holes in it and somehow be on fire.
Sweeper Keeper – Cleaning up after that shocking back pass and then just ending his opponent for good measure. Looked good, but you'd be fuming if your keeper tried this.
Trumped – Weapons of mass destruction... like trying a somersault throw in stoppage time when you're one nil down...
The New Player Rating System – By this standard then we'd say that Paul Pogba is the new KFC vegan burger... ridiculously overpriced, overrated, nothing special, and just generally disappointing as you were expecting so much more.
Mersey Magic – Lallana displaying effortless skill, with his weaker foot no less. You know that if you tried this it would cannon off your shin right to any one of the three surrounding opposition players.
Mané Man – World champion, European champion, golden boot winner, African player of the year... but still thrilled when one of the youngsters scores a belter in the Merseyside derby, even when he's not playing.
Bad Dad – Make sure you've got the sound on for this one. That song is something that every Dad can relate to, and every child dreads.
Top Performance – Rui Patricio just being a bloomin' nice chap. Good to see.
And that's your lot. Do more stupid stuff so we can fill this up again next week, yeah?
